The Perfect Query
by Robin Rowe - Nov. 12, 2006
The best query letters have a brief logline followed a high
concept description. You need to wow the agent with interesting
paragraphs that make him want to read your screenplay. It really
helps if the writer has something in his own life that ties in
with the world he is writing about. Bottom line it's all about
the story.
Many agencies do read all queries eventually, but often a query
gets just a two-second skim on the way across an agent's desk
to the wastebasket. You must be so compelling in two seconds that
it stops someone from throwing your query away.
Unless referred by someone who the agent knows expect it to
take months for your query to be read. Be patient. That you don't
hear anything can mean they haven't read it yet or that they aren't
interested. Lack of interest could be for reasons unrelated to
the quality of your story, such as genre and whether the agency
has room for any new clients now. Including a SASE to get a reply
is standard, but not necessary. If the agent is excited he or
she will try to phone or email you. As with a job interview, expect
a written reply to be a "no".
Below are three agent-approved example queries. These examples
are based on real screenplays my writing partner and I have written
and are as realistic for queries as I could make them. Follow
the query format exactly as presented in these examples. Yes,
the words LOGLINE and SYNOPSIS are written out and are in all
caps. The synopsis is exactly two paragraphs. The query is one
page. Shorter and you risk the agent not having enough information.
Longer riask becoming boring. Although there is more than one
right way to format a query, any variation to this format you
make risks appearing sloppy or amateur. Stick with the tried and
true, unless you have an insider tip what the agent you are
querying prefers.
Example Queries
What Not to Do
- Don't query an agent about more than one script at a time.
He or she wants to hear about your best, latest, most commercial
screenplay. Presenting more than one at a time suggests you don't
know which of your work is good. Or worse, that you may be a
hack who churns out unusable material.
- Don't try to deviate from the standard format for a query.
Follow the protocol to the letter. Nobody will assume deviations
are deliberate or innovative. They'll think you simply don't
know what you're doing. What you say within the standard query
format is, hopefully, where you will put your best innovation
and creative effort. The format is strict: personal intro paragraph,
script title paragraph, LOGLINE paragraph, SYNOPSIS paragraphs,
accomplishments paragraph, then call to action paragraph. If
you don't have exactly that then alarm bells should be going
off. Industry people want it in standard format because it's
easier for them. Give them what they want. If you can't follow
the rules for a one-page query it's natural to assume you can't
follow the rules for writing a commercial 100-page screenplay
either.
- Don't say you've been trying for ten years, written a
dozen scripts and nobody wants them. As odd as this advice
sounds, many struggling writers are eager to volunteer what failures
they are. If you're the type of person who feels compelled
to be self-destructively honest, think again. What if a friend
offered to fix you up with a blind date and described your potential
date as someone who's been trying to get a date for ten years
without any success? Would you eagerly accept that date? Not!
You'd say, no way, what a loser! Begging for sympathy sometimes
works on friends or family, but is a sure turn-off for anyone
else.
- Don't lie or overstate your accomplishments. Unfortunately,
there are some people so out of touch with reality that they
think dishonesty could be the best policy. Never lie. If you
deceive it's only a matter of time before the reputation catches
up of being a crooked. There's a lot of money on the table. Nobody
wants to play with a cheater. Hollywood is a small town. If you
say you did something in Hollywood an agent can and will check.
For example, if you say you worked for a name producer or director
there's a good chance the agent knows him and will simply phone
to ask about you.
- Don't downplay your accomplishments. Present yourself
in the best light. If you have ever won a contest, finished a
film, went to film school, went to college, have a degree, have
children, have volunteered to help others, have held a job, have
been in love, have been loved, have produced any tangible result
in life, then you have accomplishments. If you think you have
no accomplishments you're probably delusional. Living life is
an accomplishment. Be careful you name accomplishments (that
is, results), and not efforts. Only your mother should care how
hard you tried (see #3 above).
- Don't offer to email your script to an agent. You
want your script read carefully on paper, not skimmed through
on a computer screen. From a legal standpoint, many agents won't
accept electronic submissions because there's no paper trail.
And, being cheap can make you look cheap or lazy. Can you not
afford to print and mail it? Are you incapable of printing and
mailing a script? You don't want to foster questions like that
in the other person's mind. Regarding cost, don't worry that
it will cost too much to copy and mail if you don't live in Hollywood.
There are local shops in Hollywood that will print and deliver
your script for you cheaper than you can send it from another
city or country. Cost is about 2 cents a page to copy plus postage
and handling.
- Don't forget to be specific that you have already licensed
the necessary story rights. If you have based your screenplay
on a published story make sure you have the rights to use that
story in writing from the original author or publication. If
it's based on the life of a real person make sure you have written
permission to tell that story. Although there's an exception
for news journalists, realistically you must get the rights to
any real person living or dead before you can tell that story.
It doesn't make a difference legally that someone was your best
friend growing up. You don't own his or her life just because
you were there. Private persons have rights of privacy. You need
rights to famous people too because they have the money to sue
for libel. Life rights are so touchy that movies like to disclaim
themselves as having no intentional similarity to any persons
living or dead. Never presume you can get rights you don't have.
Don't present your script as being perfect for Paramount because
it's based on The Godfather. You would have to get the
rights first! If the rights belong to a studio you probably can't
afford it. On the other hand, don't give up on getting the rights
without trying. If it's a person and not a big company who holds
the rights it might be as easy as a phone call and faxing a letter
agreement. Always get permission unless your story is truly original
or based on an old book free of copyright complications. You
need permission to use trademarks, too. Note that you need to
have all this legal stuff done first. It's not the agent's job
to help you get the rights to "your" story.
- Don't give an agent marketing advice before he's your
agent. You're no expert. He is. If you try to tell an agent
how to do his job in a query he can assume you'll be a real pain
in the neck later. If as he reads your query his mind isn't racing
with his ideas how to market it that's a big problem. If you
say it's a perfect match for Paramount, the agent may think nobody
but Paramount would want it. What an agent wants to hear (if
you can make a convincing case) is that every studio and
production company in Hollywood will be dying to get their hands
on this project, that it will be a bidding war.
- Don't say you've shown your script to lots of production
companies and studios. The agent needs to pitch it to companies
that haven't already seen it. If you've shown it everywhere what
can the agent do with it? It's not very believable that an unknown
unrepresented writer has the connections to show his script to
many production companies and studios. The agent may simply not
believe you, assume you're delusional.
- Don't have limiting attachments. Unless it's someone
like Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise, any attachments you make will limit
who the agent can interest. Your attachments must be huge
or none at all. By the way, if you get Tom Hanks attached you
won't need a query letter because agents will be calling you.
If agents aren't calling you then your attachment isn't a plus.
- Don't forget to give complete and accurate contact info.
You want the agent to contact you, right? Your contact info
needs to be good enough to be able to find you a year later.
It could take that long to hear back from an agent. Always leave
a forwarding address.
- Don't blather. For two seconds it's in the agent's
hand before a query reaches the wastebasket. You have to be interesting
right away and consistently so the agent keeps reading.
- Don't omit important information. Be concise. Shorter
is generally better. But, don't be so short you leave out significant
interesting information.
- Don't confuse character breakdown with synopsis. The
synopsis is the capsule version of your story, not just a description
of who the characters are. If you don't tell a beginning, middle,
and end then you didn't tell your story. Some writers try to
be cute by holding back the ending as a sales technique, but
Hollywood has seen too many scripts where the writer didn't have
any ending. You must reveal the ending.
- Don't forget to say how you know any names you mention
in your query. Name-dropping can really help, but if you
mention a VIP in your query you should say how you know each
other, how tight the connection is. Is the VIP your brother-in-law,
someone you've worked with on a project, or someone you shook
hands with at a convention?
Questions to info@ScreenplayLab.com
Created Nov 12, 2006. Updated Nov
29, 2006.
